All the Rage

I have been hearing about the amazing Kelly Corrigan for months now. My mom keeps telling me to get her book The Middle Place. Someone said she was featured in the Oprah mag. Her name has come up in many emails and conversations in the past few weeks and today I found her on youtube via a facebook link by the insightful and ever delightful Kyran Pittman. Thank you Kyran.

I figured the click of my mouse was the least I could do to finally demystify this Kelly Corrigan of which everyone is raving about.

Well, get out your tissue boxes my friends and see for yourself why Kelly is all the rage.



And yes Mom, you were right and I will run out and get her book today. I promise.

Amazing

Although I no longer have a baby in the house *sniff sniff* I was eager to check out the new book by Desmond Morris Amazing Baby. The rumor was that it was a beautiful book adorned with interesting and relevant content but more importantly for my aesthetic, stunning photography.

Amazing Baby is all that and more. I am not easily impressed when it comes to the design of the baby book genre but this one is GORGEOUS. And very substantial-note the photo above right for scale. Choc full of insightful and enlightening text about the nature of baby and toddlerhood (as told in a fresh and unique perspective) Amazing Baby is one of those books that would never be left and forgotten on your bookshelves. Any parent would happily set this on the coffee table as not only a valuable resource but as a work of art.

Amazing Baby
would make for the perfect baby shower gift. You can pick it up at Amazon.

Review brought to you by The Parent Bloggers Network.

Books to Inspire

Today at Shutter Sisters is a round up of some really awesome creativity books!
We have just launched a bookstore over there too.

Don't worry...I'll be opening one over here too. Also to include books for moms and stuff. Woot! So much to do, so little time.

Love Takes Flight

This lovely work of art was created by the ever-charming super-talent Kelly Rae Roberts. Everything she touches is gold, I swear.

And speaking of gold, I am beyond thrilled to announce that her new book Taking Flight is now available. If you do nothing else, you must get this book. Consider it a gift of love to yourself. It is Love Thursday after all. Why not celebrate?

Sleep is for the Weak

At BlogHer this summer there was a book signing for Sleep is for the Weak—an anthology of stories from the wildly popular mom bloggin’ crowd. And there, sitting at the table signing stacks of books were a group of women I have had the privilege of getting to know both online and in person. Women who share the joys and the struggles of motherhood with us; fiercely passionate mothers that aren’t afraid of telling it like it is. The good, the bad and the I can barely hang on to a shred of sanity ugly. Been there.

Watching, live and in person as these talented mamas got their due recognition in the real world (as opposed to the virtual world) was super-sweet, signing their names to a book, with actual paper and real ink, handing their written words off to the masses with no keyboard or laptop to be found. Well, OK, laptops were no doubt back in the hotel rooms.

Since many of the book’s contributors are bloggers that I got to know pretty early on in my blogging days they are near and dear to my mommy blogging heart. Having the book in my hot little hands is like having a little piece of them with me. Reading hilarious anecdotes and heart wrenching truths from the likes of Jenny Lauck, Liz Gumbinner, Kristen Chase, Alice Bradley and Eden Marriott Kennedy (the list goes on and on) is a dose of good mommy medicine and a celebration of how brave, bold and brilliant the mothers of the blogosphere are. But, you don’t have to tell us that…because we already know.

Sleep is for the Weak is available for purchase through Amazon.

This review was written for The Parent Blogger Network.

Rockin' It With the Rookies

A few years back (has it really been that long?) I met the fabulous ladies affectionately called the Rookie Moms. Not only are they wonderful people, but they are behind a great site that offers the most clever and quip ideas for new moms ever compiled into one delightful website and corresponding blog. It’s no surprise that somebody snapped up the idea for a book.

Enter the totally adorable, very helpful and ever entertaining book for new moms, The Rookie Moms Handbook!

I have read through many of the ingenious (and humorous) activities offered on the Rookie Moms site but when I sat down with the book, I was delighted once again by these rich little mommy gems. My favorites being some of the photo projects they suggest, of course.

Take activity #236 which suggests documenting your child’s latest obsession via photos or video. You know, like eating oatmeal every single night before bed. Or is that just my kid?

Or #227 which encourages you to remember photographing babies objects of affection. Since I’ve got one bunny lover and one blankie baby, this one is near and dear to my heart. The Rookie Moms even go as far as to offer effective ways to tackle the photo challenge depending on your personality type; the sentimental or the artsy mom, the absurdist or the bad girl. Funny stuff! I am sooooo going to do some of these (and I am far from a Rookie Mom anymore).

The Rookie Mom Handbook is the perfect book for any new mom (hello baby shower gift). It’s a quick read with fantastic and funny activities to make the early years of motherhood meaningful and that much more enjoyable. And it’s written by two cool moms who have been there before and are doing it all over again.

Way to go Rookie Moms! You rock. All the cool moms think so.

Mom Blogs- A Virtual Lifeline

If you have found yourself depending on the Moms of the Blogosphere for the sake of your own sanity, like I have, please go visit my guest author blog post at the Chronicle Book blog. It's just me gushing about how amazing us moms are. I know, it's preaching to the choir but driving a little mom traffic over there can only be a good thing, right?

Go sneak a peek at my post Finding My Village.

If you make it over, please comment. They are giving away a Chronicle Book too so don't miss out.

Friday's Feature

...is me. And my books!

And if you all don't know Gabrielle (Design Mom) yet, pop over and get to know her. She is divine in a million different ways. I am beyond honored to be featured on her fabulous blog and am all aglow.

A Whisper, Not a Scream

I've been meaning to read The Teen Whisperer since I got it to review for The Parent Bloggers Network. I loved the name and thought I might as well get a good book shelf resource for my future with a teen. Admittedly when I agree to review these kinds of books, I use it as way to hold myself accountable to actually read the book instead of putting it off until I feel like I need the book. I mean my daughter is only 9 which doesn't even mean she's officially a tween, let alone a teen but hey, I'm thinkin' you can't start too soon. Especially when she and I have had noticeable communication breakdowns that feel like the little flames that could quickly rage into infernos in the teen years. And that scares me senseless. If we're locking shoehorns at Payless already (not just once but every single time we try to buy her shoes) I can't imagine what might fuel the fire at 14, 15 or 16.

As I picked up Mike Linderman's book I noticed first thing that the forward was written by the lovely and talented Claire and Mia Fontaine of the highly acclaimed and best selling Come Back. Talk about your credibility. I immediately thought, "Hmm, maybe this guy really is The Teen Whisperer." But as I began to read I still wasn't sure the book would be right for me or for my daughter. I was anticipating the book to take a trip down the path of the teens that had already been long gone and the families that were going through hell but as I really got into it, I was surprised at how much of what Linderman shares does in fact pertain to me and to my daughter. Right now. Coming from a gal who rarely is riveted by a book, I. Cannot. Put. This. Book. Down.

What I love about The Teen Whisperer is how straight forward the content is presented. Simply put, teen needs (which are nothing more that Universal human needs) are broken down into the basics and everything relates back to these needs and whether they are being met or not. It all seems to make sense to me. And here I thought that life with a teen wouldn't make any sense at all. Now, I would imagine if I were coming to this book because I was in full teen crisis mode, I might not use the word simple because I know (and the author repeats again and again) it's not simple to navigate life with a teen but I marvel at Linderman's ability to strip down this complex relationship stuff and clear the muddied waters. I quite honestly feel like a light has been shed on the road ahead for my family (I can't wait to share this book with my husband) and I know without a doubt that this will be a parenting reference book that I will keep close at hand for a long time. I am thrilled that I have had the chance to read this now, before crisis mode and I most definitely encourage everyone with children to get this book before they think they need it to help pave the way for a healthy parent/teen journey.

Deception Done Right

I won't pretend that I'm into cookbooks. I'm not. But I was curious about all the buzz that was going on about Jessica Seinfeld's latest Deceptively Delicious especially when I heard the twist--getting your kids to eat healthy foods without complaining. OK, I'm listening.

When I got the book in the mail I let my daughter open it. She's totally into cookbooks so I figured it'd be perfect for her. Not so much. As soon as she got the gist of what this cookbook was all about she was stunned that "deceiving" her and her sister was something that I was scheming to do. She kept repeating questions like, "You wouldn't do that to us would you?". As a matter of fact she asked me what I was trying to sneak into her food for days. And truthfully I told her nothing because I have yet to try one of the recipes. I'm kind of lazy like that. But that's not to say I don't want to because DANG, the pictures in the book look deeeeelish. And being the highly visual person that I am, I can also tell you that the entire book looks good enough to eat. It feels good in your hands, the illustrations are adorable, the binding easy to lay open on a counter (or for me, my nightstand), and colors are enticing.

So, yes, I've read the cookbook (hence the nightstand comment) but I have yet to cook with it. But that does not mean I wouldn't recommend it. Because I would. Partly because I absolutely know that if I met Jessica Seinfeld, I would love her. I know it because peppered throughout the pages of recipes are random commentaries about table rules, tips to get your kids to help with meals, common mealtime pitfalls and how to avoid them which convinced me that Jessica is the kind of mom I strive to be. I was already sold but when I came to the page "It's About the Celebration, Not the Sugar" I wanted to give Jessica a bit grateful hug. A woman after my own heart! Her short paragraph about the misuse (or as I call it the abuse) of sugar in the name of celebration I finally felt like there was someone who was in my corner. I actually called a friend of mine who also feels strongly about the issue and read her the paragraph! Kudos Jessica for sharing your convictions with the world. And I appreciate it even more because there are actually recipes for desserts (Jessica doesn't deprive her family or her readers of sweets) with the addition of ingredients like chickpeas in the mix. Imagine, chocolate chip cookies that pack a punch of protein? Brilliant!

Thank you Jessica for sharing with us not only recipes to help us keep our children on the right path but for openly sharing with the masses the way you keep order and joy (at the same time) in your own family life. I am impressed on many levels. Now, if I could only get excited about cooking, I'd try a recipe. I really would. Hey, maybe I could get my daughter to be an accomplice in the delicious deceit. She might actually be into that. Check me out, I'm coming up with my own clever twists! I guess Jessica is rubbing off on me already.

For more reviews on Deceptively Delicious, check out The Parent Bloggers Network and if you'd like to win a copy visit Harper Collins.

Scrumptious Spatulatta

A key ingredient to our summer this year has been my daughters love for cooking. Let’s just say she has definitely taken it up a notch. She scours the cabinets looking for what she needs to make whatever culinary concoction that strikes her fancy. Her approach is reminiscent of a scientist; experimenting, mixing, pouring, measuring, tasting (OK, you don’t taste your science projects but you get the idea).

On many a morning the first thing out of her mouth is something like “mom, do we have any cream of tartar?” For the record I do not share this love affair with cooking. It’s taken me most of my adult life to even find any satisfaction out of feeding my family a home cooked meal, even though (to my credit) I do it almost every night. I chalk it up to being creative in other ways and for this reason perhaps I don’t have enough juice left for the kitchen. All that said, I would never let my culinary malaise damper my daughters enthusiasm. Heck, if she can make the meals around here (and love it) then I can check it off my own list. See, I’ve got motives—can you blame me?

Needless to say that when the new Spatulatta Cookbook came in the mail, my daughter and I were equally thrilled and I am pleased to report that we are giving this kid’s cookbook two yummy thumbs up! The chefs that are featured in the book are the young, lovely and talented Liv and Belle (who are also the hostesses with the mostest at the website of the same Spatulatta name). My daughter appreciates that they are girls, just like her; playful, energetic, funny and real. I love that they are obviously and genuinely really into food and are passionate about getting other kids into it as well.

I will admit that my daughter has complained that, “eeew, Shepard’s Pie sounds disgusting” among a few other recipes she’s cringed at, but that make me give this cookbook even more credit. Unlike some other cookbooks for kids, the Spatulatta recipes go beyond the typical kid’s food (like peanut butter, plain noodles, or sweets). I am happy having my daughter look to these young foodies as role models that offer excellent resources (the book and the site) to encourage her love for cooking in a way that I really can’t. The fact that these girls provide real meals for their family proves that my daughter can do it too and that fuels her passion even more. And to my delight, her enthusiasm about working in the kitchen with is rubbing off (except maybe when she is begging me to try the new quick fudge recipe at 7:30 in the morning). Because of books and websites like Spatulatta, creating fun, festive and yummy meals together is becoming a family activity for us that nourishes body and soul. It doesn’t get more delicious than that.

Dream Weaving

My oldest daughter has always been an avid reader. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly she can devour the latest “chapter book” (that what kids call the books the graduate into after the early readers). And she’s big on books in a series. She goes from start to finish of each one and then begins a whole new group. It's awesome to watch her fly through the pages. I am impressed with her enthusiasm as I was never one of those loved to read kids. It was excruciating for me to sit still long enough to get through a chapter, let alone and entire chapter book. I’m not proud of that, and I do like to read more now but I will admit I still have some issues with sitting down for any extended period of time. But, this isn’t about me. Not today’s post anyway.

When The Parent Blogger Network put the call out to parents with kids in the tween category (9-12), I was thrilled to give my 5th grader a chance to crack Nick Ruth’s mysterious tale, The Dark Dreamweaver. This one in particular seemed right up her alley. With a name like that, any tween would be intrigued. And it’s the first offering of The Remin Chronicles which makes it that much more appealing. Anything with the word Chronicles sounds good to me. So, I was snagged on the title alone.

As I expected my daughter jumped in as soon as she got a hold of the paperback, which proudly dons the “Mom’s Choice Award” seal on the front cover. I probed her as she read asking her about the story line, the characters, the main gist of this magical adventure chock full of wizardry, suspense, a little spook factor, and endearing players like David the main character who is a child living in the present day and the caterpillar wizard Houdin who although is little is in some “big trouble”. “It’s great mom, I love it, it’s cool,” She offers as she peeks her eyes up over the cover briefly, in more like a “leave me alone and let me read” tone than the book review I was hoping for. But, I think it speaks volumes (is that a pun or what?) when your kid doesn’t want to put the book down to chit-chat.

From what I can tell, The Dark Dreamweaver is a classic tale between good and evil, reality and fantasy, truth and imagination. What’s not to love? My daughter really enjoyed the book and is certainly looking forward to the next Chronicle (Book 2- The Breezes of Inspire—sweet title!). As a mom, what I appreciate most about The Dark Dreamweaver is that this “normal” kid David is challenged to dig deep, rely on his inner powers (courage, strength, determination, wisdom, imagination, and compassion) to help not only his caterpillar friend but the whole state of the world. And he travels into the unknown to do it. Totally awesome! And after doing what he set out to do, he gets plopped back into his regular life where he recognizes that he his indeed extraordinary. Isn’t that what every parent wants their child to know?


The Parent Blogger Network is giving away copies of both The Dark Dreamweaver and The Breezes of Inspire via a random drawing. All you have to do is comment on this post to be entered in the drawing. Free books for summer reading is good thing!

edited to add....
WHOOPS!!!
To enter the drawing you must comment at the post that is on the Parent Blogger Network. I realize my last paragraph explanation was misleading. So sorry!!

All Pharmacist, All the Time

I eagerly awaited my copy of The 24-Hour Pharmacist in anticipation for a reference book for all those crazy kid ailments that go bump in the night. See, when you have children, you just assume that everything ever written has a kid slant. I’m thinking, cool, I need another book for those sleepless nights of fevers and rashes. Was I surprised when I browsed the table of contents and saw chapters like, Overcoming Fatigue, Monthly Madness, and the most intriguing, …Really Icky, Weird Stuff. Forget the kids, this book was for ME! And in many cases felt like it was written directly to me which made me embrace it even more.

I dove headlong into the PMS (a la Monthly Madness) chapter first because well, it’s not surprise to anyone who knows me, I suffer from it (as does everyone that crosses my path) and to my delight, I took vigilant notes and have committed myself to the idea (not the asylum) of giving the advice of Suzy Cohen, Pharmacist Extraordinaire a go. I’ve got nothing to lose and something tells me, this gal knows what she is talking about. I was a little skeptical when she broke the explanations of our hormones down into American Idol terms but since I think I might be the only one on the planet who loathes the show, I’ll ignore it and admit that her pop culture comparisons did make me understand the relationships between all those crazy hormones a little bit better.

The 24-Hour Pharmacist is one of those books that you can’t help but want to read, even when the topics don’t really apply. It’s like you’re just dying to know what the real story is with this western medicine shtick we subscribe to and how someone who works in the industry is in her own way bucking the system. Or at least trying to tell the truth for goodness sakes. Suzy is my kind of girl.

If you are anything like me and you have been vowing for months to kick yourself in the ass and get a little healthier, you should pick up a copy of the book. If nothing else it sheds a whole lot of light and gives a boat load of practical info about some of the medical issues we grapple with everyday and offers ways to get a big healthy grip on them.

This review was written for The Parent Bloggers Network—who is always giving me something to talk about.

Seeing Things

I've seen some fantastic photography lately. The fam and I got a chance to check out Illume before it left Huntington Beach. Wow. The incredible images themselves were only highlighted by the presentation of them glowing from these huge boxes on the beach. Really a sight to see.

And last night we went to an artist's reception for Andy Summers new book "I'll Be Watching You" at the Frank Picture Gallery in Santa Monica. I stood this close to Sting himself and he looked...um...hot. As I figured he would. I will comment however that I towered over him in my heels. No judgement, just observation. I took my camera in hopes to have something to post here but just felt wrong about shooting pix of him. That's just my "I hate to be gawking like everyone else" side. Anyway, If you get a chance to head to the gallery to see Andy's images (life with The Police circa 1980-1983) you should. He captured some incredible stuff.

Fearless Friday

Fear is one of those topics that stirs up all sorts of emotions in people. I personally, have a love-hate relationship with Fear but have learned to revere its power to stop even the bravest of us dead in our tracks. We’ve all been paralyzed by Fear sometime in our lives and although it’s a universal experience, there is really no way to compare our Fear to that of another. Not unlike grief, we all have to process our fears in our own way; choose to face them or not, choose to run away or walk on. And although here is no such thing as the absence of it, there are some instances where we act boldly in it’s presence.

In a perfect world, I would just ignore Fear and forge through the fires of life, coming out the other side better for it. It’s a valiant effort and yet, I have found myself afraid of things as predicatable as beginning something new, leaving something behind, following my heart, saying no, saying yes, and of taking even the tiniest of risks. I have found myself debilitated by Fear; unable to make a decision, call the shots, or take the leap. I have given myself too much time to think and have let the voices of doubt drown out the whisperings of my heart. I have even surrendered to my fret and worry and have let Fear keep me from the things I desire. So, how can I expect to ignore something that has become commonplace in my life? I can’t. But I can carry on despite the Fear and do my darnedest to walk, step by step. Some steps bold and others not so bold but they are steps, none the less.

One might think that if we let the little things scare us, the big things would be that much more devastating. But, the truth is, when things have gotten really, truly and terrible scary, I have acted with more fearlessness than I ever could have imagined possible. In fact, I have become the most fierce when I have felt the most intense Fear. It has happens when my children’s well being is at risk or when something I deeply care about is threatened or attacked. I believe it’s a superhuman ability that can overtake us when we are triggered. We’ve seen it when an otherwise normal person lifts a car off of a loved one, when someone puts themselves in terrible danger because someone else needs their help, or when a mother sacrifices her own life for that of her children. It happens everyday. People do extraordinary things in the face of real Fear and it must seem to an observer that these people must be fearless. But, that’s impossible. It isn’t human nature to put ourselves in harms way. However, it is our nature to protect what matters and take care of what we love, at any cost.

I have seen an extraordinary, seemingly fearless woman in myself. I certainly don’t see her every day and I have no idea when she might reveal herself again but I know she’s there, lying idle within me. I know that in times of great Fear, she will appear as she has before, never failing me when I need her most. I don’t use her wisdom and as much as I could and have thought that perhaps I should invite her out more often; welcome her into my daily life, allow her to come play and help with the more minor decisions. It would probably help matters. But for now, I just nod and say “Namaste” to my Fearless Self. She’s impenetrable, focused, determined, clear headed, and impossibly strong.

It was a warm summer morning and my husband, 18 month old daughter and I were on our way to the beach. Radio on, windows down and the scent of sunscreen spoke of our perfectly planned day at the beach. But within minutes of being on the road, my daughter almost lost consciousness. My husband spotted her in the rear view mirror and raised his voice to me, “Something’s wrong! What’s wrong with the baby?” In one moment everything had changed. My husband raced off the freeway and the whole way to the emergency room I was beckoning my daughter to stay awake and as her head bobbed, barely able to speak, she kept whimpering, “Mama? Mama?” in her tender baby voice. As I sat in the backseat with her, the extraordinary woman came for me. She remained calm and steady, when I was at my breaking point. I felt for a few moments that I might lose my daughter.

It was a “freak accident” that a small piece of rust lodged itself into my daughter’s eye and it had sent her body into shock. She became lucid once we got to the hospital and the urgency and gravity of the situation let up a little. If wasn’t a matter of life or death but there was still reason for worry. After hours and hours of waiting, and talking to specialists and finally going through the removal process of the foreign object while my baby was strapped down to a board and a dental drill was used to extract the rust, I continued to be a vision of fearlessness. I stayed strong, focused and vigilant in my efforts to be sure my daughter was taken care of. It was my intention to keep my baby as calm as possible so the doctor could remove the fleck without surgery or doing harm to her eye. He had commented to me that my ability to keep her settled and relaxed was what we had going for us. When the nurse attempted to escort me out of the hospital room for the procedure, I made eye contact with the doctor and he commanded “Let her stay. This one is a good one.” Indeed, she was the best one. She was my Fearless Self. And she stayed with me for the remainder of that long day and into the night when I finally put my precious girl to sleep (thankfully in her own bed and not at the hospital). It was only then did my stoic Fearless Self let go as I fell into my husbands arms and wept.

Although my daughter came out of that situation unscarred, those hours left an indelible mark on me. Reflecting on the events of that day and other instances equally as intense in my life, I know now that it wasn’t my fearlessness that overtook me, it was my Fear. It proves that when Fear is that palpable, existing in every fiber of our being, we can become superhuman to overcome it. I think that is amazing and if I dare say it, fearless.

****

It's Fearless Friday at MotherTalk. If you haven't already, I urge you to go read what other women had to say on the subject. It's awe inspiring.

When Mothers Talk

The Mother Talk Salon I hosted the other night was beyond fabulous, just as I had known it would be. I'm not sure you can go wrong when you bring a group of vibrant women together (namely mothers) and throw in some good eats (appetizers and such a la myself and my daughter the sous chef) and drinks (as in alcoholic) and a cozy living room (aaah, I love when my living room is full of friends). I mean, seriously, it was like a little bit of heaven.

I remember the first email I sent Miriam and Andi (the amazing women behind Mother Talk) as a desperate plea to get a Salon planned in LA. Little did I know that I would be lucky enough to have not only host one in my own home, but to have not one, but two incredible authors to lead the evening of compelling conversation. Everyone that was here truly enjoyed themselves. I know it to be true because since the event on Saturday night, I have been fielding phone calls and emails from grateful moms who keep reiterating heartfelt sentiments about how stimulating it was to get together and talk about the Universal State of Motherhood...good, bad, and otherwise.

The evening began with snacking (thank you Isabel at Alpha Mom for being kind enough to sponsor the event for us) and casual introductions that led to us gathering around as Brett Paesel began to read a piece called from the delightfully witty Mommies Who Drink during which on more than one occasion, had the whole room laughing out loud. When Brett was through, and before she could even answer the questions we were all dying to know like, what led her to write the book, how did she get the deal, and what was her life like before children (you know the important stuff), the whole room was engaging in conversation which I think could have gone on for days.

But, alas, it was time for Erika Schickel to share something from her refreshingly poignant and clever book You're Not the Boss of Me. Although apparently she had planned on reading a different piece, the dynamic of the group led her to recite the last story of the book called Sisters. A tapestry of words, rich in color and texture that brilliantly stitched together her daily observations of her own daughters with reflections of her own upbringing and memories of life with her sisters. For those of you who know me, my daughters and my whole family of women, you can imagine how much a story like hers hit home. Waaah. This then began round two of mom talk and as our thoughts swirled and we spoke our minds the time passed far too quickly. It was a perfect evening.

Would I host another Mother Talk Salon? You bet I would. And something tells me it's just a matter of time.

Babyproofing Your Marriage Blog Book Tour

I first heard about the new book Babyproofing Your Marriage from Kristen. Apparently, she got an unannounced copy of the book in the mail and figured she had been targeted as someone who really needed some help in the marriage department. Let’s just say she is always very candid about the ups and downs of her relationship with her husband at Motherhood Uncensored. About a week later, I got the book in the mail and thought, “Now wait a minute, I don’t talk about my marriage on my blog. Why did I get the book?” and immediately hid it in the closet for fear that my husband would think I was seeking help to improve our marriage, God forbid. Yes, I was worried about what he might think seeing marital book on the nightstand, as ridiculous as that might sound. And then, Mother Talk asked if I wanted to review the book. Oh boy.

I was on the fence about even reading it because my husband and I are no longer in the “baby phase” of life anymore so I figured it wasn’t applicable. That was, until I starting reading the thing. And then I was like, “DANG! This is one hell of an important book!” and have not been able to put it down.

So, what exactly are the three very sage mothers (Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill, and Julia Stone) behind this Babyproofing book on to? What do they know that we don’t? Well, it’s not so much what they know, it’s that they had the gumption to really look at it for what it is; a universal marital dilemma and they tackled it head (and heart) on. Bravo ladies!

But, what’s the point of reading about something we are living? If we are already well aware that our lives as we knew them have unraveled since we’ve had kids and our marriages are well, a mere shadow of what they used to be? How about for validation? It’s absolutely imperative for us to recognize that what is discussed in this book are not “just our own marriage” issues. In fact, every couple that has kids goes through this stuff in one form or another and for the most part, argues about the exact same things. I swear, as I was reading the many spot on quotes included in the book feeling like I was reading exact conversations my husband and I have had over the course of the past 9 years, since our fist daughter was born. Word for word. I’m serious. And even now, as my kids are 3 and 9, we still drag these same gripes around with us day after day. Sure, life has gotten a easier with a little more sleep (now that our babies are no longer babies) and a few good parenting years under our belts but even still, the fundamental beefs we have had with one another since we had the babies, are still pretty much the same today, and thankfully are exactly what are dissected in this book.

Babyproofing Your Marriage tackles all the issues; the myth of the highly sought after, pretty much unattainable ‘equal partnership’ marriage, sex (and the lack thereof) and everything that goes along with that (which is, um, a lot), and the rest of the brutal truth about what having a children really does to your relationship. And believe you me, it’s not always pretty.

But above and beyond validation, the book gives you hope. I mean, once it’s all broken down, it’s not all that difficult really (if we can pry our resentments from our weathered and weary parent paws). The key is to for once, really start to recognize what our partners are going through. Sure, we moms might feel beaten down and taken for granted but so do our spouses. Both of us are feeling the exact same way (light bulbs going off?) with just a few variations as to 'the what and the whys’ (like hard wiring for example). This book takes it all apart and lays it out in the language that all parents can grasp and then starts to rebuild it as we begin to let ourselves feel the other person’s pain. It’s the first big step and this empathy alone can begin the shift toward a better relationship. Hooray!

What I think is the most refreshing part of the book is that both parties are equally represented. And this is why it is so important for our husbands to read the book (this issue noted in my conclusion). They'll be ecstatic to know they are in no way getting all the blame in this book. For as much as their manly tendencies are exposed (and sometimes constructively criticized), so are our pity parties (we all have them), constant comparisons -aka score keeping (‘I do 10 things to every one thing he does’), and over-protective, gate keeping attitudes (‘surely you aren’t taking the baby out dressed in that’) of which we have all been guilty. In Babyproofing both us moms and the dads are called to the table, held accountable for the mess our marriages are in, and everyone is offered very valuable help and very doable methods that can be used to improve our relationships tremendously. For God sakes, there are even mock scripts we can use if we flounder and lists of ways to make the opposite sex feel appreciated. Hello. Easy peasy. And the added bonus is that although these can be some heavy issues, the tone of the book is light, the writers are funny, and the language is appropriate. Like the F word. Tossing that one in at the right moment gave me the feeling that I’m among friends, having this discussion in my living room, with other normal parents, that are earnest because they too struggle with the same crap in their own marriages. It’s refreshing and enjoyable reading.

And if for some reason you are still even thinking for one single minute that you don’t need to read this book, I urge you to think again. However, be warned, this book is clearly written to both halves of the whole here. Which means, and I reiterate here, when you do get the book and read it, there is this one hurdle that might prove a difficult leap—getting your husband to read it too. I know first hand that that is waaaay easier said than done as I have yet to get a “yes dear, I will read the book” from my man but I won’t give up trying and hope you won’t either.



For more info on Babyproofing Your Marriage - How to Laugh More, Argue Less, and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill, and Julia Stone visit the website.


Catch the authors live on The Today Show on NBC...today.

A Savvy Mother Talk Book Tour

Many of you already know that I am the mother of two bright and beautiful daughters. God knows I post enough photos of them around here to make it pretty obvious. So, what does having daughters mean to me? It means a lot but what first comes to mind is my wish to raise them to be strong, independent, empowered women all the while trying my darnedest not to saddle them with my own baggage (namely, the female kind). So far, so good, I guess. But my oldest is headed for Tweenville and that means it's only going to get harder for me to navigate the precarious mother/daughter waters.

Long ago, back before we even had kids, my husband insisted that I bow out of The Sex Talk if ever that time came. He was certain that it would be futile for me to try to hide my uptightness about all things below the belt and figured he’d be the better speaker of the house. I didn’t take offense to it because I knew he was right. But time has passed and I better understand some of my issues and have faced them over the years. And now, in the blink of an eye, I am dealing with a nine-year-old daughter and on a daily basis am deciding how and when to interject the tid-bits of girl info as she needs it. Considering I never even called a vagina by it’s proper name until she was like 5, it’s been a slow road. Regardless a few set backs, over the last few years, I have decidedly been much more forthright with her, sharing the details of my own cycle in ways that have seemed to comfortably open the lines of communication. Whew. I figure if I can keep it going, then the talk won’t necessarily have to be such a big talk but more of an extension of the things we’ve already been sharing (she says with fingers crossed).

Lucky for me, before things have gotten hairy (that might be a pun if you really think about it- so try not to think about it), a book like Toni Weschler's Cycle Savvy came along. I was thrilled when the call went out from Mother Talk to review the new book geared toward girls 14 and older. "Ah ha," I thought, "I’ve got a few years until then and I have time to arm myself with the info in this book so I’ll be really ready!" I figured from the title and the fab graphics that it’d be a perfect book to read and entrust my daughter with when the time comes. I started with the “note to moms” which is obviously a disclaimer for what was about to be discussed in the book and it managed to put me at ease right away. And then I really began. When I got to page 8 it was all I could do not to slam the book shut. Oh my God, I am not ready for this. See, page 8 is a graphic line drawing of the female genitalia, spread eagle, labeled and plain as day. Breathe Tracey, breathe. And then, through one squinted eye, I studied the drawing a little more closely. My eyes opened. Aaaah, so that’s where that is. Oooo, that’s what that’s called.

I found I was able to gather my thoughts and talk myself off the cliffs of Mt. Prude. And what happened next was remarkable. I began reading Cycle Savvy as a curious teen. Apparently, in many ways I am. I won't pretend ladies, there is stuff in this book that I didn't know. I haven’t read Toni’s first, wildly popular book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Yet. Is it that obvious? Anyway, Toni’s approach is one of respect, knowledge, understanding and humor. I love her voice and to my astonishment I felt very comfortable reading about all the female stuff that might normally make me squirm especially in the context of knowing my daughter will be reading it one day. We’re not just talking periods here. Toni covers or perhaps better said uncovers topics like cervical fluid, ovulation, fertility, the ‘first time’ (gulp), birth control, and STDs to name a few. At great length and in detail I might add. Yep. It’s all in there and more.

So then I pondered her words and her straight-forward approach as a mother of a one-day teen and wanted to embrace her. She spoke in the language that I want to speak with my daughter; confident, kind, funny, and trusting. With teens, it’s not only what you say, it’s how you say it. And Toni has got it going on. She’s not trying to be one of the teens she’s targeting. Thank God. She’s just trying to be someone they will listen to, which is no easy task. She casts no judgment and offers clear, concise information that not only sheds light on the mysteries of the female body but empowers young women by entrusting them with the info they will need to make smart choices for themselves in life. As in every facet of life, not just in sex (although that is covered so well, I might have to memorize it and recite it when the time comes). Rest assured taking charge of your fertility isn’t easy at any age. If you consider doing so is like cracking the code to your whole personal make up it’s no wonder it takes some doing. But Toni offers the tools girls, ahem, women need to do just that, if and when they are ready to listen to and take charge of their bodies. It got me all fired up, I can tell you that much, and that’s a start.

Cycle Savvy is a book designed to help teen girls demystify their “awesome and amazing” bodies (gotta love those adjectives!) and in turn honor themselves and through it all offers the universal messages that many moms strive to instill in their daughters. One of the highlights for me is when the author describes “the four little words that can change your life.” She continues, “Commit them to memory, make them your mantra, own them. They will serve you again and again. Knowledge: Good. Ignorance: Bad.” That single message alone makes the book worth reading. I can guarantee that Cycle Savvy will be right here on my shelf (once I’ve read through it a few more times) waiting to be used for it’s highest good; to help me, help my daughter understand her own unique and miraculous body as she grows into the amazing young woman I see glimpses of even today.

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Just added-
I am giving away a free copy of Cycle Savvy- The Smart Teen's Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body. It'll be a random drawing taken from all the people who comment on this post. Thanks and good luck!