Thursday, March 30, 2006

I love the world of celebrity high jinks as much as the next guy. Trash mags and E Entertainment aren't below me. I keep up with the Bennifers and Brangelinas. I won't deny it. However, up until recently I haven't given much thought to Tom and Katie. Sure they're strange, big whoop. But a few days ago I heard about this "Vow of Silence" they have taken in regards to the birth of their soon-coming child. And now, I am officially FREAKED.

Any woman who has birthed a baby knows the deal. There is no controlling yourself, especially the primal screaming that goes hand in hand with pushing a 10 pounder out of our body through a pretty small hold. If there were an option to experience no pain, no stress, and no noise during birth, we'd do it. Duh.

Katie, you, my dear are in for the rudest awakening of your life.

I was inspired and highly amused with something I saw at Cool Mom Picks. It seems I'm not alone in my concern. Check out these Tees. PRICELESS.

Out of all this, I only hope for one thing, that after Katie gives birth, her Tom and L. Ron illusions are smashed to bits and she has the courage of Brooke Shields to blow the lid off this crap and tell it like it REALLY is. Come on Katie, you can do it.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I'm thinking, since it's almost one in the morning, I have no business posting anything right now. I've had a lot to say and no time to say it (such is life as a mom) but to leave my darling blog postless for days on end, it just doesn't feel right.

So, I choose to leave you with this- a glimpse into my life's joy. Two impossibly amazing girls. And as I drift to sleep, there will be only gratitude.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Repeat after me (I think)...

There are days when I, like most of us, feel like a failure of a mother. Self defeating thoughts swirl around my head; I yell too much, let my kids fill up on "snacks", leave the TV on for one show too many, let my daughter walk through Target barefoot, cuss you know, that kind of stuff. And it always seems that our children like to parrot our behaviors back to us. Monkey see, monkey do is nothing new but it doesn't make it any less scary when it happens to you. When your child begins to acquire language, look out! I've heard all the profanities I've used spit right back at me since my daughter could talk. And she so loves to test out her new vocabulary when we're in public. Once at the photo lab, she looked straight in the eye of the 20-something at the register and said with gusto, "JEEESUS KWIIIEST". The girl stared back in horror (I can only hope she was more shocked than deeply offended by a toddler 'taking the lords name in vain') and I said without skipping a beat, "That's all me. Guess it's time to clean up my act?"

But on better days when I'm not PMSing, my girls are dreamy, and all is right with the world, hearing a little echo of my best mothering moments can stop me in my tracks and instantly remind me that I am a pretty good mom. On more mornings than not my youngest beckons me to her crib and greets me with, "Good morning Mom. It's a lovely day." I do say that, don't I? Be still my heart. When we were enjoying a picnic on our front lawn she looked up and said, "It's a perfect day for a picnic, isn't it?". I got weepy. And when we were driving home from a morning at the Aquarium, she said from the backseat, "I had a really nice time. That was a fun day." Aaaah. Those kinds of moments, when I see my kids being sincere and polite and above all expressing true gratitude for the simple things, I know that I'm doing something right.

I love to hear my daughters mimic one another, use expressions I use, communicate like their father, treat others with kindness, show compassion, and offer respect. I am blown away at what incredible people they are becoming and how somehow I have had a large part in that. It's a really reassuring feeling. Of course you know you must take the good with the bad. I mean, what kind of kid walks up to her mother (who has been on the computer way too long) and blurts out, "You're not my friend anymore Mom"? One with an older sister who has used that line on her a number of times. Monkey see monkey do.

Oh, how I love my monkeys.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

"Mommy, what's a blog?"

This one goes out to my bewildered family and friends who are certain that this time, I have gone off the deep end. Let me being by stating that although blogging can be called many things, a cult is not one of them. If any of you bloggers are reading this and beg to differ, please post a comment and share with the viewers at home.

Now, back to the issue at hand, explaining to you all what a blog is. Since I have no smart and clever way of answering that question, and because I really still barely know myself, I am lifting an actual blogger's profile to do the splainin' for me. Ready? Here are the words of wisdom that sweatpants mom posted at her blog;

'So, this being my first blog, I asked someone what a blog was, anyway. He said it was a personal web page for vain people who mistakenly think that everybody on the planet gives a rats-ass about their business. And I’m all “Sign me up!”. '

Yep. Go ahead and start the line behind me. You know you want to.

Monday, March 20, 2006

There's a fantastic write up on my books on the Cool Mom Picks blog today. YAY!

A big sloppy kiss to Kristen for the rave review!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Chuck E. Cheese:
Where a kid can be a kid and a mom can get a beer.

Pictured here (from left to right) Chuck, Iris, my beer (see it there-near the steering wheel?) and myself in the Chuck E. Mobile. My oldest daughter (not pictured) was busy racking up tickets to get her choice of a top-of-the-line plastic prize.

We had a family friend down to visit for the weekend and while he and my husband were sipping Cabernet at a chic LA art opening, my daughters and I got our game on at the local Chuck E. Cheese’s. Where else can you go out in public and drink while your kids run crazy? That’s how my weekend began. And it ended with an early Sunday morning birthday romp at Pump It Up- Where a kid can jump around on gigantic jumpy things and a mom can too. Why the hell not? Thank God for pizza (again).

Always something exciting going on here! I can hardly wait to see what the week ahead holds! Here’s a hint…Monday Skate Night. Ooooooo. Aaaahhh.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Me & Tea
It just seems fitting.
Set design and photography by my daughter Iris.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

TEAdium Time

What could be sweeter than the image of a mother and her daughter sitting down to tea? Nothing. Especially when the daughter is mine and she's adorably two, chatty and charming. The tea set is tiny and the tea is really apple juice while the accompanying snack is a little bowl of popcorn. Come on. It's too cute.

Now, what could be more tedious than a mother and her daughter sitting down for tea everyday, sometimes 2 times a day, sometimes 4? Nothing. Especially when the daughter is my cranky, demanding two-year-old. The tea set is tiny and therefore tips easily and is fumbled often while the snacks are teddy grahams or goldfish (again) that end up smashed to crumbs under the micro tea table I uncomfortably wedge my knees under, and end up all over the rest of the family room floor as well. Come on. Enough is enough.

Motherhood can be the crown of the most tedious state of being. And this is what continues to be really difficult for me. The monotony, the dullness, the routine, the tiresome tasks that never seem to end because if and when they do, they turn right around and beg to be redone, rewashed, re-cleaned, re-cooked, get the point. I spoke to a mommy friend today and she confirmed that "on some days you can sit and enjoy the tedium and become one with it and on other days you just gotta get the hell out of the house." Can I get an Amen?

Well, I have not fled from my house today and have been contemplating Mother Tedium; recognizing her presence in my life, acknowledging her, and doing my damnedest to embrace her. Although with a definition like "the quality or state of being wearisome" well, let's just say she's not that easy of an old gal to appreciate.

I am reminded of The Guest House by Rumi.

"This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond."

I'm not sure I've ever really invited Tedium in (I'm pretty sure I haven't), but she's come anyway. Perhaps if she felt a little more welcomed, she wouldn't be so hard to live with.

Rest assured, the next time my daughter and I sit down to tea, I'll be setting the table for three.