Another Year

Happy Birthday to me I guess, huh?

And wow, what a tribute I got.

After a birthday like this one, I feel so loved.
Sigh.

The Beautiful Build Up

Who knew that a photograph like this could spark a post like this? I guess it's been building up. You know, that my girls are growing up before my eyes. That Julia will be in the FOURTH grade (huh?) and Iris will begin preschool, FIVE DAYS A WEEK. Yes, I am thrilled. Finally time to myself. It's what I have been asking for. But that doesn't mean I'm not sad too.

If you want to know how I really feel about it all, check out what emotions blindsided me today when I was posting at Picture This. And grab a tissue.

Re-re-cap

I have so much to say about my weekend at BlogHer. But quite honestly, I'm getting weary of the topic. As I am absolutely positive, without a doubt, sure everyone else is too. I have thoughts and ideas and WORDS to articulate my experience but lack the energy to write them down. Terrible, I know.

Until I can get up my strength (IF I ever do), I'll just have to carry on as usual leaving you with only images. And believe it or not, I actually posted them on Flickr despite my resistance. Those of you who know me, know I'm not the biggest fan of the Flickr. Don't ask why, because, I don't know. The only thing that comes to mind is that it doesn't speak to me. That's all I got. BUT, since there's not much of an option, and I'm too tapped out to come up with something else, I put them there in a "set" called, what else, BlogHer '06. Clever, aren't I? Sheesh, I am tired.

BlogHer Recap?

Who needs words when you have an image like this?

After a weekend spent surrounded by women like a Superhero (left) and Marathon Mom (right) I'm not sure words could possibly do it justice. Besides how can I formulate any thoughts when my head is still spinning? And even if it weren't, my brain went to mush right about the time we started taking shots for Rachel's 30th birthday (That's the birthday girl on the right. Bottoms up)!

Oh boy. Do I need to say I had the time of my life?? It was indeed a weekend I'll never forget. More details and pictures to come, I promise, so stay tuned.

Incriminating photo taken by the lovely Mommy Needs a Cocktail. What could be more perfect? Oh, and the one of Charlie's Angels? That was by Grace's husband. Thanks guys.

Well, it's finally here. Tomorrow I jet set off to BlogHer and I swear to God, it's all I've talked about since I was afforded my E ticket a la the fabulous people at Minti.

Mom 101 wrote a hilarious and spot-on post about it. And so did Motherhood Uncensored among hoards others I'm sure. I haven't had a minute to catch my breath so I won't be writing much about it tonight. I haven't even packed for goodness sakes. FREAK OUT! But if you're going or you're not, the posts above are funny funny funny.

And, while I'm away I'd love it if you'd consider submitting one of your posts about motherhood (any interpretation of the word) to the Mom Blogger's Carnival. Since I'm in party mode, let's 'Carnival' together, shall we?? Drinks all around! And beads?? Sure beads for everyone. The scoop can be found at Jennifer's blog Joyride Through Insanity (which is like one of my most favorite kick-ass, how to get it done as a business woman and a mother blog-and yes, Jennifer makes it look easy)!

Email me at maypapers@yahoo.com with the link to YOUR post BY JULY 30th please and on August 1st over at Picture This I'll be hosting the Carnival post! Don't be shy. Send something you're proud of. And/or pictures, you can send pictures! That's allowed ya know...to be proud of a post you wrote and pictures you took. Yes, it is. Don't argue with me.

Alright then, catch you on the flip side peeps. San Jose or bust. I mean San Jose and bust. Lots and lots of them, I'm sure. And you know I'll have a camera.

Warm and Fuzzy

Here's the warm:
I am super-excited to announce the launch of the new and improved warmtone.com.

There's supposed to be a picture right here but blogger is giving me a rash, and won't let me insert one. Damn you Blogger. Damn you.

And now for the fuzzy:
I am all a tingle for my dear friend Sue as she's got a fantastic story published at Imperfect Parent. Any parent site with the tagline "release your inner screwup" is good by me. I hope you will stop over and read what she's got. It is a piece near and dear to my heart. Boy, can I relate! Anyone else feel her pain?

OK, so Blogger won't even give me the spell-check today! Arg! The humanity. I see typepad in my future.

Yes, I'm doing it again.

Here's a little something of late that you might enjoy (especially if you have daughters)

The other night as I tucked my 8-year-old daughter into bed, I was stroking her back, as I do every night and was looking around her room. It was dimly lit by the hall light, but I could see just enough to remind me of what an incredibly strong, smart, and confident girl my husband and I are raising...

I said I was doing it again. If you want to read this piece in it's entirety it's right here.

Seriously, I'm not just doing this for kicks but out of necessity. I'm finding it impossible for me to be everywhere at once, damn it, no matter how much I'd like to be. So this is the kind of thing you're probably going to have to get used to. My apologies.

And although I have no business being here today (because of other pressing commitments that I'm putting off to do this) I want to just elaborate on the Mom Blogging group I've started at Minti. ONLY because a few of you asked. I know everyone is sick of registering at sites to get the goods, blah, blah. I get it. And I wish I had some great "about it" thing I could use to describe it but, truth be told, I don't know. It's my own idea that I have come up with and it's in it's infancy. Like any baby, there's no telling what soul could emerge as it grows. So, it's still kind of a mystery. I can tell you what I hope it will be. I hope it will be a group where the caliber of women involved sets the bar for some insightful dialogue and sharing of thoughts, tips, advice, rantings, and encouraging stuff. That's all I got for ya. I can tell you that there are 20 pretty awesome Mom Bloggers that are on board and the talk has started. If you come, then you too can have a hand in making it amazing.

And please, don't get me started on my new Flickr photo pool that I've begun that will be accompanying my ClubMom blog Picture This. OK, yes, it's true. I am starting one. Damn it. I can't help myself. And although I am not a big fan of the Flickr, I see what fun it could be in a group setting where we can share photos using the topics from Picture This. So, what do you say, you gonna click over and check that out too???????????????? It's called "Try to Picture This". I soooo know you're curious.

What I Consider Cool

My new Mom Bloggers group at Minti
This is a group I hope all of you moms with blogs decide to join. It's a private forum of sorts where we can talk motherhood, blogging, careers, creativity, and anything else we want. Why? Because it's ours...aaaall ours...to discuss whatever it is we want. Pick each others brains, ask some question, get some answers, rant, rave, whatever. I'm excited about it and hope you come join the party. I think it's gonna be great! There's already some really great bloggers on board-
Friday Playdate, One Smarmy Mama, and the Rookie Moms to name a few. Come on over. You'll have to shoot me an email a la my Minti Mail with your name and blog info and then I'll add you to the list! We'll be talking some serious mom blog shop.

Moving Pictures
Hooray, my baby sister started blogging! Well, OK, she's not really a baby and she'll hate that I called her that but it's my blog and I can say whatever I want. Anyway, go say hello and share some virtual love as she begins her adventures in blogging.

Pamela Kruger
The Novemeber 2005 issue of Child was an incredibly poignant "Work and Family" special edition. I remember many of the articles vividly and went on a quest to get every woman to read them. I was lending my copy out, sharing what I learned, and pretty much freaking out at what I considered to be a very enlightening issue. My favorite article was called "Working at Home-Reality Vs. Myth" by Pamela Kruger. The title alone makes me drool. And then, it hit me so hard I was moved to tears. And it's not even a sad article! It just was exactly what I needed te read, when I needed to read it.
Fast forward to the August 2006 issue of Child. Pamela offered yet another wonderful story that pretty much hit the Tracey nail on the head. Again. So, I shot her off an email to tell her how wonderful she is and guess what I found? Her website and blog and past articles posted on her site. EUREKA! There it was, THE "Working at Home" article. Go read it. It's awesome.

Job Offer
Looks like the folks from Minti are hiring. Want a job working for the coolest Aussie's on the web? Check it out and go for it.

Blogher Conference
Only 20 days until the big conference. I get to meet Kristen, Liz, Andrea, some of the ClubMom Bloggers, my Minti friends, Her Bad Mother, Sweatpants Mom (please, someone tell me she's going!), the Red Stapler, the list of attendees goes on and on and I am just plain giddy. By the way, if you're still looking to go, keep checking out the Blogher site. I've seen tix coming up for sale now and again.


That seems sufficient for today's list of cool.
Am I missing anything??

Things Remembered

Julia and I had some time together tonight. Time alone, just she and I, which is rare anymore with a toddler in the house. It was about a half hour before bedtime and although I had piles of work to do and she was content playing a computer game, I asked her to steal away with me to the back yard for a bowl of ice cream. She jumped up and down, enthusiastically agreed, and bounded to the kitchen for the ice cream. The days have been really warm for the last few weeks but the evening temperatures drop quickly as the sea air creeps in, cool and moist. We were dressed in our day clothes, shorts and tees, so we grabbed our sweatshirts and our full bowls and ventured outside. I spied a blanket on the way out and took that too. We sat on the patio couch together and snuggled in........

Yes, there is more to this story...please click here to read the rest at Minti.

"I can be so tricky", she says rubbing her hands together in the most sinister way.
And throw me a bone and comment on it over there, would ya?? Pretty please?

It's that time again. This month I was so taken by a post at Left Handed Trees and Other Lies that I chose it for the June's Perfect Post Award at Suburban Turmoil.

The photograph that accompanied the post could have alone won it for me. But there's much more to it that that. I wrote a little something about it over at my ClubMom blog Picture This.

So go read C. Delia's heartbreakingly beautiful words at Left Handed Trees and then click over to Picture This to read about why it touched me so.

Thanks for participating in the gush-fest.

Are You MomReady?

Check out MomReady today. They've featured my books under their Hot Product category. God, it feels good to be "Hot".



And if you haven't signed up for their daily newletter, just do it. It's cool.

This post is for Mom-101. She said she tagged me for the 'stuff you hate meme' because I'm "so upbeat all the time". Is that supposed to be a complement?

So now, in true David Letterman fashion, I give you my top 10 list of the things I hate. And I don't even need an alter-ego to list them because even us upbeat people can hate stuff.

10. I hate it when my feet feel dirty.

9. I hate going to the dentist.

8. I hate it when I can't find matching socks.

7. I hate chewed gum-it's a phobia thing.

6. I hate having chapped lips.

5. I hate weak coffee.

4. I hate when I can't find my slippers, because I hate having cold feet.

3. I hate being late. Especially when it's for something important.

2. I H.A.T.E. when women are catty.

and the #1 thing that I hate is...drumroll please...

when I feel totally out of control of my 3-year-old. (symbol crash!)

Sorry you asked?
Now it's my turn.
I tag Kirsten, Nancy, and Janeen.

Wheels

So far this summer, Iris has mastered riding her tricycle. And yes, she's wearing snowflake pants in June. I know.



Luckily her super-skill has coincided with Julia's enthusiasm about her new beach cruiser. Yes, I know I shot directly into the sun. I know.



Besides getting some well-needed exercise, this can only mean one thing; walks around and around the neighborhood. A few times a day even, if you can imagine. I'm a big fan of the great outdoors. I just don't get out as often as I should. Until now. With the bikes, comes the need for adult supervision. I guess that means me.

Indeed, it does. And resistance is futile because I'm not good with whining and if I try to put the over-zealous little Lance Armstongs off, well, there's lots of it. I must succumb to the call of the wild. And if you're reading a little reluctance here, you're reading right. Which is really so ridiculous because it never fails that when we've come home after a summer saunter (that's what I do, I saunter, while the girls put their 'pedals' to the metal) I always feel refreshed, revived and ready to run back to my computer and blog about it.

I'm hopeless. I know.

**mama says om

How Do You Spell Schwag?

If you're asking me, I'd say M-I-N-T-I. But if you're asking my 8-year-old she'd spell it like this,
"schwag, S-C-H-W-A-G, schwag"
because she's the Third Grade Spelling B Champ!

Yes, folks, the accolades just keep coming. Last week, student of the month, this week, first place in the Spelling B. Pretty incredible!

And me?? Well, I'm just basking in the glow of her amazingness and sporting my new Minti Schwag. Insleeves even. Where's my lighter?

Yes, this is me and not a Cafe Press model although

I'm pretty sure this pose was inspired by one.


This is beginning to resemble a coat tails story. I'm riding my daughter's, as I am known around town now as Julia's Mom and doing the same with Minti a little bit too I guess. See, I've signed on as a Minti Ambassador (what tha?). A pretty cool title I guess, only second to a Bad-Ass-ador. I mean, I can capitalize it if I want, right?. There's something. Here's the sitch- I get to be involved with the super cool parenting community at Minti and offer advice (do I ever shut up?) and get awards for it...yes awards! Go check it out. I'm telling you it's the funnest thing. You become a member (takes like one second) and then you get to write advice, answer pleas for help,post goodies at your very own Minti blog, and they award you these really awesome virtual awards (medals and patches) kinda like a Girl (or Boy) Scout thing. It's pretty fun and as pathetic as it may sound, an ego boost. I obviously am still scarred from never being a Scout so this helps me fill the void of growing up patchless. Anyway, I'm all crazy-addicted and won't be satisfied until I collect ALL OF THE PATCHES. Yikes. Now, I'm scaring myself and my children and you. Anyway, I'm just going to help them spread the good Minti word, that's all. Because, I really don't have enough on my plate these days so I figured, 'what the hey'?

So, as far as formalities, you can call me Mrs. Ambassador (Ambassador for short) or Julia's Mom. I'll answer to any of them.

It's Belly Time

Well, looky here. In keeping in step with my labor and delivery reflections, Stacy at Frankly Pregnant posted "Tracey's Belly Shot". A whole post dedicated to little (I mean BIG) ol' me. Well, Iris was in there too so I can't take all the credit. Three years and a few days ago, I looked like THIS. Talk about other worldly.

While you're there, browse around. She's got some great stuff on her site like, let's say, my books , on her list of top pregnancy picks (thanks Stacy!) and her book which you should buy immediately.

And hey, look who else is singing her praises!

Three Years Ago Today

I remember a new house, unpacked boxes, a newly painted nursery, and a hand me down crib.
I remember feeling overwhelmed.
I remember feeling big and uncomfortable.
I remember fear, loneliness, and isolation.
I remember having support and love, unconditional love.
I remember taking pictures and timing contractions at Julia's end-of-the-year Kindergarten party.
I remember resting on the couch, quite and calm, alone in my house while my family celebrated at a graduation party.
I remember knowing it was almost time.
I remember shuffling Julia off to her grandparents house knowing that the next time we would see her it would be to introduce her to her baby sister.
I remember it felt very surreal.
I remember feeling much older than I did five years prior when I had Julia.
I remember waiting in the hallway of the labor wing for over an hour before being checked in.
I remember it being strangely still and desolate in the hospital.
I remember the room where I labored and not feeling at home there.
I remember pain.
I remember using the bed rail to grab onto as I labored on my side.
I remember being angry and short-tempered.
I remember refusing an epidural.
I remember more pain.
I remember knowing when it was time to push.
I remember using my anger to my advantage in pushing.
I remember my determination was unlike any I had ever known.
I remember fear, anxiety, and exhaustion.
I remember being in so much pain after Iris was born that I couldn't even see her.
I remember the doctor cutting the cord without asking my husband, to his heartbreaking disappointment.
I remember seeing him with Iris as they weighed her and wrapped her.

I remember him holding her, talking to her, adoring her.
I remember whimpering and crying because of the intense and continual pain.
I remember my mother coming in and demanding someone to attend to me.

I remember me not understanding why I was still in pain.
I remember hearing the doctor comment I was full of blood clots and being scared.

I remember finally holding my tiny daughter with a knowing; a calmness and quiet, recognizing her somehow.
I remember being wheeled down the hall to my room, cradling her, not feeling like she was new to me, but as if I had held her before.
I remember sleeping in the hospital bed and waking to her stirring, confident in knowing what she needed from me and how to give it to her.
I remember nurses and pediatricians and lactation consultants.
I remember the congestion in her tiny nostrils that made her snort and snore.
I remember being a tireless mother despite my exhaustion.
I remember feeling drained, fatigued, weary, old, relieved, blessed, calm, and deeply in love with my daughter and although she was merely hours old, I remember feeling as if I had always known her.

Happy Third Birthday Iris.
I love you more than I can say.

In Honor of a Perfect Daughter

I picked Julia up after school today, as usual. I always park along the back side of the school and stand outside my car and wait. She comes out the double doors, disheveled pig-tails, sweater loosely tied around her thin waist, and is always sure to spot me before making the long walk across the blacktop and through the grass field. When we see one another from opposite ends of the playground, we wave big arm waves.

Trotting clumsily, sweaty and tired, she approaches me and passes off her heavy backpack almost before I can even reach it. I gladly take it from her and toss it in the front seat while she climbs into the back of our van. Today she kept the bag herself and commented, "I want to hold it today. I have something to show you." And after we're buckled in and I start the car, she hands me a large, fancy folder trimmed with gold guilding from the back seat. "Look," she said. I open it and read, "Third Grade Student of the Year" and in calligraphy, "Julia Clark". My heart leapt, and I gasped, "Julia Clark! Oh my gosh! WOW! I can't believe it. What an honor." She beamed, wearing her big, toothy 8-year-old grin, skin flushed pink with excitement and humbled confidence, "I know. Isn't it great?"

Great doesn't begin to describe it. And although I blurted out I couldn't believe it, the truth is I can. I most certainly can believe that my child was chosen to be celebrated. She is an incredibly bright, kind, thoughtful, creative, talented, hard-working, generous, determined, responsible, sincere, smart, gifted, amazing, and beautiful young girl. I am beyond proud of everything she is and all that she is becoming. I know that all of this is true because I am her mother. What delights me more is that today she was recognized by the world. Her world. I am overjoyed that she was given a moment to hear her name be read out loud in front of all of her friends and had an opportunity to feel so incredibly special without me. I am overwhelmed and so grateful. As a mother, nothing could be better.

Julia Clark is my daughter and today and always, I honor her.

In Honor of a Perfect Post

A while back I gushed about a post at La Vie En Rose. Well, the gushing isn't over yet. I haven't been able to get it out of my head. It's worthy of an award. Ah ha! How about Suburban Turmoil's Perfect Post Award? Done.

The experience of Motherhood has been so complex, so intense that for me, it's been beyond words. Sure, I talk about it, I write about it, but I've yet to feel like what I've expressed has truly communicated what it is I face and feel everyday as a woman, a mother, as, well, me. Michelle however, in this one perfectly penned letter says it all. More in fact. Every single word resonates crystal clear as a perfect account of motherhood as I have lived it everyday since my daughters were born. Beauty, Heartbreak, Joy, Ache.

Ache.

If you haven't read this post yet, I hope you will. And even if you have, I encourage you to read it again. And again.

Thank you sweet Michelle for sharing your letter to Britton.

And thanks to Lucinda and MommaK for offering us the forum of The Perfect Post Awards. It's fantastic.

Thinking of my Grandpa.

The Spirit of Receiving

I found out today that I have been the recipient of an incredible gift. I was given a ticket to BlogHer. Remember the generous people at Minti that were giving tickets away? Yep. They offered me one. I am elated and bursting with gratitude. I had a bit of help from two wonderful and kind bloggers and to them I am grateful as well.

Still buzzing from the excitement and truth be told, the shock I have been dreaming all day about the approaching July weekend in San Jose. Being surrounded by many of the amazing women I've come to adore in these few months of my blogging experience (see expanding blog roll), talking (FACE TO FACE), learning, and if all goes well, eating and drinking (moderation, moderation) sounds like the coolest possible way to spend a long weekend. I feel like a kid anticipating a trip to Disneyland. Oh, the glorious butterflies!!!

This morning my horoscope made mention of "a small windfall". As far as I'm concerned, I believe my ticket to BlogHer fits the bill in a BIG way.

Thank you Clay and everyone at Minti.
You've made me a very happy MommyBlogHer.