A few months ago a dear friend came over to take some photos of me. She is embarking on her new career in photography and since I'm kinda narcissistic and like the way others see me through the lens (huh?) I urged her to use me as a model. Actually, that's not the way it happened exactly. She was in need of a little practice, and some input, and I was in need of recent "blog profile" photos of myself. But I still like getting my photo taken in my own weird little way.
Come to find out, she wanted to be sure to capture my wrinkles. Um, I'm sorry, my what? Oh boy. This might not be as fun as I thought. Or maybe it would be. Truth is, I'm not really all that worried about my age or the aging process thus far for that matter. Some friends I know whisper about botox and their sagging, sucked dry breasts and that flappy skin on the back of their arms. Me? Nah. It is what it is. So, I figured I'd let her just shoot away, unflattering side light and all. And I did. And you know what, I like the photos. Yep. So I'm calling in a victory. It might not mean anything to anyone else but to me, it means that I'm OK looking at my own (40- year-old, this year) face which I think is a pretty good thing.
At first glance this shot is fun and so very me, but after I really looked at it, I saw the lines, the wrinkles around my eyes. Wow. That's a lot of lines. It's surreal catching a glance of yourself aging. Because like Shari MacDonald Strong said in her wonderful story Love-40, "I didn't know I was aging, exactly." So when one day you see yourself and you can trace the last few years of motherhood, of work, of love, of joy, of time carved in lines around your eyes, it can be shocking. But, it's also wonderful, if you let it be.
6 comments:
I love this photo.
And for me, those lines really are "laugh lines" because you seem so happy! (In fact, you look joyful in many of your photos, as if you know a great secret.)
I've had the spa gals tell me to consider botox. And the surgeon who is removing some abnormal cells on my forehead told me "don't worry, we'll hide it in your wrinkles."
I wonder "What wrinkles?" But then I look closer. And yet, I feel more confident in my appearance now than I did as a smooth-skinned child.
I think she captured you perfectly! You are smoking hot, perhaps more so because you're so at ease in your own skin.
This is a beautiful photo of a beautiful woman...no doubt about it. I love the quote you shared as well...evidence of a life well-lived.
--D.--
As I looked at the photo, I thought, wow, she is beautiful! Then I read your commentary which drew my eye to the lines. Still, you are beautiful and those lines would have gone unnoticed! :-) I love that picture!
I just posted a picture of me with the same lines yesterday.....
Girl, I think I may be hooked on your blogs!
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