Wednesday, November 01, 2006

October Perfect Post Awards

It's not over yet. November 1st I mean. See, I was supposed to write my glowing post about the lovely and talented Misha of The Wallpaper of My Mind (a favorite blog of mine) because I nominated one of her recent posts for the ever popular "Perfect Post Awards" that are hosted monthly over at Suburban Turmoil and Petroville. The whole award process is totally cool, not only because you get to acknowledge a fabulous blogger but you also get to enjoy a link fest like no other. It's a great way to read the best of the best and discover new bests you never knew were out there. It's grand all the way around.

But today (and yesterday and the day before) I have found my motherwork taking priority over my blogwork which has meant all things virtual have taken a backseat. And sometimes that sucks and it can be terribly frustrating when there are things online that I want to be doing, saying, sharing, etc. AND especially when the paying gigs await. But somehow, as with most moms, everything has had to be put into perspective and the motherwork has had to come first.

So today, while sitting at the doctor's office AGAIN I was thinking of Misha's Perfect Post and it hit me. Here I was doing something I had to do yes, but something I wouldn't trade for anything; holding my daughter in the waiting room as she cried because she was afraid of getting another shot. And here I was lamenting that I didn't get this post written and it just seemed somehow fitting that I was burning to write about the conflict so many of us feel as we are both mothers and creative women as I was doing something as important as comforting my baby.

In her life, Misha has been tackling the same issue. She's shares it so eloquently and poignantly in her post "On Raising a Mother" that it almost brought tears to my eyes. Her decision to cut back on her blogging (which is probably like cutting off a limb) as to give more to her children and less to herself and her own creative needs left me just a tab bit numb because it's something I wrestle with daily. And it feels even more palpable right now because speaking of wrestling, my husband and my girls are having a time of it in the living room, rolling around in hysterics on the living room floor as I'm in my office pecking on my keyboard doing what I have had no time to do in a while. And I wonder if with all this "work" I love to do, I long to do, I live to do is at all synonymous with doing right by my children. Maybe not so much? The motherwork always comes first yes, but this other work is what I daydream about doing. I defend my creative wants/needs/whims to the death and I shout from the rooftops, "I need ME time to be a complete person" but lately I've been thinking a lot about what it all means and if I will be glad for feeding my Creative Soul during these fleeting years or if I will one day pine away for the moments I missed with my daughters. It scares me to death.

I will be writing about another fantastic post soon too to follow up where Misha left off as I try to process all of my thoughts (which is never easy when you're exhausted).

For tonight, I hope you enjoy Misha's words as much as I have.


Left-handed Trees... said...

I appreciated this link very much...these words and these thoughts speak volumes to me.

misha said...

Thanks, again, Trace - can't wait to hear about the follow-up post....

You are indeed a peach.

PeetsMom said...

Thanks for the link to Wallpaper...I hadn't read her before - very very insightful!